12 April 2007

Formula For A Delicious Bacon Sandwich

N = C + {fb(cm) · fb(tc)} + fb(Ts) + fc · ta.

According to the New York Times, British researchers have come up with this formula after slamming 700 sandwiches over 1000 hours. That can't be healthy.

"It concluded that the best bacon butties were made with crisply grilled, not-too-fat bacon between thick slices of white bread."

So, for an explaination of the variables:

"Ideally, Danish Bacon said, 0.4 newtons should be applied to crunch the sandwich, creating 0.5 decibels of noise. The formula uses these values: N = force in newtons; fb is the function of the bacon type; fc is the function of the condiment or filling effect; Ts is the serving temperature; tc is cooking time; ta is the time taken to insert the condiment or filling; cm is the cooking method and C represents the breaking strain in newtons of uncooked bacon."

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight, suddenly my job doesnt seem so pointless.


Denis Ambrose said...

Too bad they don't actually include a way in which we mere mortals might try to create the perfect bacon sandwich.

Dragulf said...

I have heard Danish bacon is really good. Then again a Dane told me that...

Chip Chief said...

I guess that explains why the Danish Bacon Society would fund this sort of thing. They are PROUD of their bacon.